You Want Loathsome? It's Tebow.

Hey Jenny Slater. recently completed its list of the fifty most loathsome people in college football. It's a great list, including Mark May, Jimmy Clausen, and Michael Adams, all loathsome, loathsome people. However, I feel there is a gross omission. This person is not one who is loathsome to a single fanbase. He is, outside of one very powerful community, universally loathed. While he has been hailed as a God and may even have a church in his name, he is destined to be the most detested player in SEC history. More than Casey Clausen. More than Chris Doering. More than Rexie. More than David Pollack. Hatred, thy name is Tim Tebow.

First of all, he's a Gator. The most loathsome of fan bases and teams. Replete with their Cameros and jean shorts, their arrogance knows no bounds. Every other school in the conference hates them. It may be because their athletic department is so damn good, but it more likely because of their arrogance. After all, no one started liking the Gators when the Zooker was losing.

Second, he cheers too much. Tebow yells after big plays and skips on and off the field. For some reason, white athletes that show too much enthusiasm are disturbing. He always seems to have that weird looking grin on his face that closes his eyes. That's annoying. Even his name sounds cheerful, "Here comes Timmy Tebow."

Lastly, his fans are obsessed and idiotic. There is no one out there who sort of likes Tebow. He is either loathed as an over hyped fullback or worshiped as a the love child of Paul Bunyan and Zena the Warrior Princess, more god than man who sprang forth, fully grown, the result of a secret German military project located in the Philippines, imported to spread his super genetic seed among the UF coeds. Exhibit A is this highlight video ripping off Chuck Norris.



If for nothing else, the term "Tebowner" makes the kid loathsome.