Football Fix

I don't know about you folks, but I'm jonesing for some college football. As the counter at Burnt Orange Nation informs me today, there are 68 days left until the season starts. If, like me, you can't wait that long, it might help to check out Ivan Maisel's countdown of the top 100 moments in college football history. So far, he's revealed #100-#81. There were one or two I might have ranked higher, but it looks like a great start, and it should be a fun time seeing the rest of the list.

One of my favorite college football traditions is the telling of jokes on one's rival. There are plenty that are team/rivalry specific, and a lot of good ones that are interchangeable depending on that day's opponent. I heard one of the latter type this weekend, and it was new to me, so I thought I would pass it on. I have modified it to mock a common target on this site, but feel free to adjust it to suit your needs.

Bubba and Billy Bob are on a road trip and are walking down the street, and they see a sign on a store which reads, "Suits $5.00 each, shirts $2.00 each, trousers $2.50 per pair."

Bubba says to his pal, "Billy Bob, lookee here! We could buy a whole gob of these, take 'em back home, sell 'em to our friends, and make a fortune! Now when we go in there you be quiet, okay? Just let me do the talkin' 'cause if they hear your accent, they might think we're ignorant, and not wanna sell that stuff to us. Now, I'll talk in a slow Georgia drawl so's they don't know."

They go in and Bubba says with his best fake Georgia drawl, "I'll take 50 of them suits at $5.00 each, 100 of them there shirts at $2.00 each, and 50 pairs of them there trousers at $2.50 each. I'll back up my pickup and..."

The owner of the shop interrupts, "Ya'll are Tennessee fans, ain't you?"

"Well, yeah," says a surprised Bubba. "How come you know that?!"

"Because this is a dry-cleaners."