News From Da Bayou

Two important bits of news from Baton Rouge:

1) Les Miles has indefinitely suspended uber-recruit and backup QB, Ryan Perrilloux for attempting to board the Hollywood riverboat casino with a fake ID. Where else but Louisiana does a star football player get suspended for wanting to gamble so bad that he can't stand the shore? We have video poker in every gas station in the state, Ryan. The lottery supposedly supports LSU. You just had to play cards, huh?

While this is a great episode in the lore of LSU off-the-field problems, it cannot surpass the Larry Foster purse snatching incident or the Jamie Brandon kidnapping and boarder run, both of the late '90s.

What was Perrilloux thinking? "I'm the biggest football recruit to ever come out of south Louisiana. I made a huge fiasco out of my recruiting such that everyone in the state knows who I am. I play for perhaps the most rabid, obsessive group of fans in the country. I can slip this fake ID by security." You'll also recall that Perrilloux is under federal investigation for counterfeiting. I'm not sure the casinos are a good place to swap fake bills for real ones. They seem to take security seriously, evidenced by the security camera in the free drink they brought me last time I was in one.

My guess is that Perrilloux will be holding the clipboard for LSU's opener. "Indefinite suspension" in Louisiana is code for "stadium steps, booster cash under the table, voodoo ceremony, no missed playing time."

2) LSU is widely expected to issue a "suck it" statement to PETA when they replace Mike the Tiger who died last week. The animal rights group has urged LSU officials to forgo a live mascot. LSU officials should reply with roaring opposition to such a plan. The practical reason is that they just spent millions on a plush tiger habitat. But, the logical reason is that PETA is being stupid. LSU takes an endangered animal, gives it all the food it wants, provides endless medical care for the animal at its vet school, houses the animal in a multimillion dollar habitat and you think that is bad, PETA? Every animal should have it so good.

Mustain Finally Decides

Mitch Mustain, uber-recruit, mediocre freshman QB, and general malcontent (in his defense it appears that he is descended from a line of malcontents) has finally decided to join Damian Williams, fellow Arkansas refugee, and transfer to USC. Hooray, Hooray! I can finally stop seeing Mitch Mustain stories.

The focus can now turn to deciding if Mustain was worth all the trouble. After all, he was rated ahead of two other notable freshmen quarterbacks, Tim Tebow and Matt Stafford, while he was trudging through recruiting. Tebow and Stafford shined last year, while Mustain failed to beat out Casey Dick. Arkansas, without a passing game, played their version of a high-speed locomotive, Darrien McFadden at quarterback some during the last half of the year. McFadden looked as good as Mustain throwing it.

Again, if you can't beat out Casey Dick, how do you beat out USC's stable of prep All-Americans? Good luck, Mitch Mustain. And, good luck Pete Carroll. It appears you've landed the most temperamental show mom in college football.

Say It Ain't PO

As mentioned this afternoon, probable All-SEC corner Paul Oliver has decided to leave Georgia and submit his name to the NFL supplemental draft. Oliver evidently didn't feel the need to go to class or study after deciding that he wanted to stay in school back in January because he is academically ineligible for 2007. Oliver entered UGA as an uber-recruit but hadn't really lived up to his hype completely, except against Calvin Johnson. After several good performances last year, I was waiting for Oliver to turn into that dominant big corner that shuts down one side of the field. He was poise to do that, but forgot that you have to go to college to play college football.

Georgia still has a slew of quality corners in Asher Allen, Bryan Evans, ReMarcus Brown, and Prince Miller but they are all young. The Dawgs will also get senior Thomas Flowers back after an injury sidelined him for most of last year. The defensive backfield isn't bare, but no one has the skills or size of Oliver. Georgia needed good coverage next year because their front seven may struggle with pass rush. Plus, Adarius Bowman must be licking his chops thinking of facing a sophomore corner when Okie State visits Athens to open the year.

As a Georgia fan, I have no excuse. No player on any Georgia athletic team should ever, ever be declared academically ineligible. Rankin Smith should be wondering what he gave us $3 million for. We have an entire staff of people to keep them eligible and advise them. While UGA has increased their academic standing considerably in the past 15 years, it isn't Swathmore. Anyone who gets in and gives a damn can get a degree in something. Paul you screwed up and you let your teammates down.

Off Season Update - May 17

I hope to return to a somewhat regular schedule soon, but in the meantime here are a few stories of interest from around the SEC:

Auburn - Troubled linebacker Tray Blackmon is back in Auburn after being suspended for the spring. Tubs hopes Blackmon, an uber-recruit and key player in AU's victory over the Gators last year, can get back in the fold and do right for next year. Tubs can't kick him off the team. Anybody who can do this to Kenny Irons will be able to pillage townfolk and possess alcohol while underage at no end.

In other Auburn-related news, Tim Brando popped Stan White in the head with a golf ball this morning at a charity golf outing. Bo Jackson rushed White to the clubhouse where he got a few stitches.

South Carolina - Danny Sheridan and Paul Finebaum interviewed Shiny Pants yesterday. If you listen closely you can hear Sheridan giving a back rub and oral "message" to Spurrier during the interview while Finebaum rubs his feet. The opening line include Spurrier saying that he had been to seven high schools that day, more than the number of high schools he visited during his entire tenure at Florida.

Georgia - There's nothing official out there, but rumor has it that potential All-American cornerback Paul Oliver has some grade issues and might not be with the Dawgs next year. You'll remember Oliver from his masterful coverage of Calvin Johnson in the last two years. Georgia is deep in the defensive backfield, but losing Oliver would hurt badly. The Dawgs have some good young corners, but no one with the ability and size of Oliver. UPDATE: It's official, Oliver won't be at UGA next year. Ouch.
Defensive back isn't the only area where the Dawgs can see the depth draining out of their roster. Young linebackers Akeem Hebron (suspension) and Akeem Dent (foot injury) won't be around for a while.

The Namesake

This blog wouldn't be worth its name if I didn't link to this awesome post from SMQ in which he laments the demise of the triple option and offers several videos demonstrating its grace and power. They're not all run out of the wishbone formation, but they're all beautiful. My favorite single play:The Bo Jackson montage is mighty good, too, as is Ken Stabler's "run in the mud" for 'Bama, and, like the Bear said, "I can watch that all night." Enjoy, and thanks, SMQ!

UPDATE: Kyle asks for Tommie Frazier. Here's a nice summary (although it's heavy on passes), and here is his iconic run against Florida in the Fiesta Bowl.

Here Comes My Baby

Here is the fruit of my absence. She's been great so far. We're already playing the Redcoat Band on an endless loop in the nursery. Her cousins have also given her the Baby Bulldog DVD. It educates tomorrow's Bulldog fan today. I can tell her all she needs to know without a DVD player: avoid jean shorts, hate the color orange, and red pants on a man is sexy.

Sports Roundup

Kyle and the Mrs. were selfish enough to schedule having their baby right when (a) nothing much was going on in the sports world, and (b) I didn't have a lot of time to write about it anyway. So, sorry for the radio silence around these parts. Let's see what's happening. I'll run through this Shanoff-style.

NBA Playoffs: Underway. The Bulls are getting whipped, which must mean the Heat truly stink. Suns-Spurs looks like the de facto championship. I wonder if Tyler Hansbrough had flashbacks when Steve Nash's nose was busted the other night.

NHL Playoffs: Also underway, apparently.

NASCAR: Big announcement coming tomorrow from Dale Earnhardt Jr. He may be leaving his dad's old team, Dale Earnhardt Inc.

College basketball: Moving the 3-point line back a foot, to 20'9". Use that tidbit of trivia for extra credit on Jim Harrick Jr.'s Principles of Basketball exam. In recruiting news, uber-recruit Patrick Patterson will announce his school next week. It's down to Kentucky, Florida, and Duke, with Florida being the supposed front-runner. He'll probably go to the same school as almost-as-uber recruit Jai Lucas, and Florida seems the best fit for the pair.

Major League Baseball: Curt Schilling backs off from flat-out saying Barry Bonds did steroids. I wonder if Schilling made his comments just to get Roger Clemens off the front page. My team, the mighty Devil Rays, say they're not going to replace the crappiest stadium in baseball any time soon. Also, Rickey being Rickey.

Pro Football: Mini-camp time. Is Chris Leak really bad enough to go undrafted? Leak makes me think of former Alabama quarterback Jay Barker. All he ever did was win: 45 wins overall, 28-1-1 as a starter. I think Leak will have a solid career as a backup somewhere, and look how well that worked out for Matt Schaub!

College football: Some charges dropped in the Penn State apartment fight case. Still waiting to see what Paterno decides to do with this one. (Link via EDSBS.) Speaking of EDSBS, be sure to check out their radio show, EDSBS Live -- very funny, and enough of a college football fix to get you through the off-season.

NCAA: The NCAA releases its report cards for Division I teams. The BCS conference teams came out pretty well, although this article says Maryland basketball might be cutting it close next year. Someone with more creativity than me should do a Breakfast Club parody of the teams getting NCAA detention. I think Cincinnati as John Bender is pretty obvious. Myles Brand could do his best Mr. Vernon: "Mess with the bull, you get the Brand!"

Politics: Sports figures on the guest list for the President's fancy dinner for Queen Elizabeth: Peyton Manning, Tim Hasselbeck, Gene Washington, Arnold Palmer, Jim Nantz, T. Boone Pickens (huge Oklahoma State donor), Calvin Borel (Kentucky Derby-winning jockey, functional illiterate).

High school pole vaulting: Allison Stokke. Trust me. It that makes you feel guilty, read this.

So, what did I miss?

Also, we need to clean up, update, and expand the Wishbons blogroll. I have a few I have been meaning to add, but let me know if we're missing any must-read awesome sports blogs. Thanks!

Awaiting a Bulldog

Loyal readers, I will not be around for the immediate future. Wife and I are going to the hospital tonight in anticipation of the arrival of our first child. Thus, it may prove difficult for me to post in a relevant or timely fashion for the next few weeks. I will do my best, but long periods of inactivity are likely for the Wishbone.

In any case, I hope to be posting more regularly in a few weeks. If all goes according to plan, I may have a picture or two of the future Bulldog in coming days.